Not much to say about Day 60. Why? Because I survived through another day of being sick. Last night I checked into an urgent care clinic for what I thought was the Flu. But thankfully, it turned out to be a bad cold and ear infection. Still I felt miserable. There were a few things/people who deserve honorable mention for their support.
A special thanks to my mom, dad, Art (my husband), Olivia (daughter) and to Glee.
GLEE (the show) really helped me survive while being sick. I was able to catch up on a few episodes and I’m always inspired by this show to continue shooting for the moon (my dreams). And of course a special thanks to my sisters and friends for your text messages which rooted for me to recover.
Day 60 marks my goal for 60 posts, in sixty days. Overall I have 111 posts (my lucky number “11″). I’m excited about this journey because I am creating the life I have always dreamed of, except now I am actually putting my thoughts into action. So from here on out, I will only be posting blogs about a personal journey of becoming the artist I always imagined. We are all children at heart. And now I am talking directly to you, fellow blogger and/or viewer. You can tap into your “element” and bring your inner child to life. Do what you love to do! Thanks for supporting and following me on this journey.
Today is Day 11, my lucky number !!! What follows is a synopsis of my day. Our sweet baby girl has been under the weather since Wednesday evening. So mommy and daddy have been busy taking good care of her. Today I took Liv to our first appointment with a new pediatrician who is an MD but also skilled in Alternative Medicine. It is such a relief to find a pediatrician who believes in empowering families through prevention, education and support.
I visited my favorite business for skin care this evening. It is called The Sanctuary of Winter Park. The owner/founder is Usha Naran who is also a friend of mine. She is such a professional, kind and genuine individual. I admire her as a specialist in skin care and as a person. She specializes in facials, waxing and make up. Also there is a wonderful lady there named Maria who is very talented and is also a friend of mine. Maria provides many services including waxing and pedicure/manicure. I see Maria for eye brow waxing and always leave happy! Check out this peaceful Sanctuary that is well-known for skin care in Winter Park.
I could go on and on about my day, but don’t want to bore you today. First and foremost, today was about taking care of our bambina (spanish for “baby girl”). We also ran a few errands together. The process of organizing, decluttering and unpacking is taking longer than anticipated. Olivia keeps me laughing when life can be so serious.
I am beginning to truly miss lyric writing, acting, singing and dancing. Mostly I miss singing, and acting. I have the acting bug again! So I am hopeful that next week will be the last week of serious organization mode; so I can concentrate on acting/music again. I sing and write now but not to the extent of my soul’s purpose. There are many changes being made on a personal and professional note; which are preparing me for this next phase.
My daughter Olivia Daisy carried her cookie with her to take a bath this evening. Olivia rushed to the tub as soon as she heard daddy twist faucet on. She then proceeded to climb over the tub fully clothed. I intervened, quickly removing clothing and getting her into her favorite duck for bath time fun. Once in the duck, she watched the crumbs of her cookie fall into the water. It was a candid moment. I urged my husband to grab a camera stating ” Olivia wants her duckie and cookie too!”
Surprisingly, Olivia did not eat her cookie, but merely starred in awe of the crumbs floating away. Finally, after some prompting; she began eating the cookie while enjoying her bath. I began to wonder the metaphor/meaning of this joyful event. Perhaps the crumbs floating away, remind us of mindfulness. It is important to really be present, even while enjoying/eating food. Liv wanted her cookie and her bath. Perhaps a metaphor for how all is possible in life. A broad generalization, maybe, but I am choosing not to analyze. I think about how I want to be a mom and career woman: the delicate balance between both. My daughter inspires me more than I could ever have imagined. If you look closely at picture below you can see our cookie monster. Cookie in her left hand and crumbs on bottom of duckie bath.
And here is a brief synopsis of the earlier part of my day. This morning while my daughter was at school; I had a few hours to cook, organize and relax. Mostly I cooked dinner like a “crazy person”. I basically stayed hyper focused on the task of cooking. By doing so, with minimal distraction; I cooked two meals and managed to cook Olivia her favorite oatmeal for tommorow’s breakfast. Then with the last forty-five minutes; I decided to relax while listening to a guided meditation on YouTube. It was called the Universal Mind Meditation by Kelly Howell. There was one quote that really stood out. As I lay still the soft tone whispered, “I’m not the past, present or the future, I simply am.” I felt restored, even after just 20 minutes of listening to guided meditation. I adore Kelly Howell’s work and truly believe in our brain’s potential and power to envision change, and to heal through guided imagery.
Tonight I led a group for adults grieving the death of a loved one. It was a great group of individuals and I always leave group feeling purposeful and with immense gratitude. After group, it was all family with laughter and yummy home cooked food. What more can we ask for?
Last night I felt blogger guilt. I was out on a date with my husband and suddenly remembered my blog. You see, I promised myself I’d write a blog each day. On Monday night, I planned to write about Sunday and Monday, however; I was unable to access the internet. And then it was Tuesday evening.
I tend to set very high expectations of myself. My hope was to write a blog each day, but it was a fast-paced, fun and mommy-tired sort of weekend. And then one needs to recover from such a whimsical weekend. So there was Monday. I spent a good part of Monday cleaning house. No longer will I continue to set such a high expectation. I think it is more realistic to say I will blog most weekday nights and blog once about each weekend. So below is a synopsis of the last four days (including today).
The weekend was useful in that I sorted through boxes and continued to organize our new home. As for family time, we went to Winter Park Farmer’s Market Saturday morning. For the novice marketeers, it can be intimidating. There is a large crowd and it is packed. And it was momentarily scary when one vendor’s food truck began to tilt on its side. It just so happened that this food truck was a barbeque pit with smoke filling the air. Everyone froze as the truck tilted further in one direction. There was a loud gasp of shock and fear. But within seconds, the food truck was back up and running.
What I love the most, food wise, is a delicious crepe. They even have gluten-free crepes now. Yes, I ordered gluten-free with fruit and peanut butter. Although I am going dairy-free; I figured a minimal amount of skim milk will do no harm. For health reasons, I have decided to go dairy free. Apparently there are great benefits to sticking to an all plant protein based “livit”. I prefer to not use the term “diet” rather, to use “livit” as this is a positive change. The WP market is worth the trip!
Sunday evening, I went to see Mary Poppins musical at Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre. One word “Dynamic!” The set was extraordinary. I guess that is two descriptive words. The artists were top notch and the choreography impeccable. It was an inspiring musical to anyone, of any age. There were many metaphors to a life well lived. One of my favorite quotes is from Jane & Michael, ” Stretch your mind beyond fantastic, dreams are made of strong elastic.” I felt inspired to continue this path of creative risk, adventure, and positive growth. Thanks to my sisters for gifting me this occasion!! Check out upcoming shows at the following website: http://www.ticketmaster.com/Bob-Carr-Performing-Arts-Centre-tickets-Orlando/venue/278567
And the exciting recent news is we have finally installed our brand new oven, into our brand new condo. The more organized I become, the more ready I feel to confidently stride forward as an actor, singer and writer. It is a cleansing of mind, body and spirit.
So this is how day five started out. It was another beautiful day in Winter Park, Florida. Look at the blue sky and the colorful flowers off Park Avenue. I noticed Sassafras, a sweet shoppe while walking my daughter to school. This shop often is full of children eager to pick out their favorite candies. Also I have seen kids birthday parties being thrown there. Pretty “sweet”!
It was another productive day. I managed to clear out two boxes in a room full of home items. We are still in the process of unloading and organizing our new place. It is fun but arduous, and time-consuming. I don’t even know the definition of arduous to be honest, but I like the way that sounds. Today was about running errands and sticking to this week’s plan. The plan was to de clutter, simplify our lives. I had a set time frame to do so, while my baby, almost toddler, was at school.
Lets see I went to Whole Foods at one point today and enjoyed an “almost lunch” with my “almost toddler.” That’s right I’m a fool to believe that my daughter can sit still while I eat a delightful sandwich. Nope! She ate well and then I quickly packed up my lunch for later. It’s all good! Lets see, fast forward and Olivia, our dogs and I went for a brief walk. The walk was brief because Olivia wanted to jump out of the shopping cart. You see in order to walk the dogs and have a happy baby with me; we have resorted to using the shopping cart. Olivia usually loves sitting upfront and looking at surroundings. Not this time. She wanted to jump out of cart, at every opportunity. So the walk was cut short and back to dancing around the house. There is never a dull moment. She is growing like the daisy she is.
This evening my husband, baby and I went to a new restaurant. Check it out if you can. ”Tako Cheena” is the name of this eclectic asian fused with latin cuisine. At first I was skeptical; how could chinese food mixed with latin food be good? But they have found a unique blend. The food was delicious and several options for vegetarians and vegans. There was one delicious sauce that combined garlic, chives and ginger. I will definitely be returning. The night had the best ending. My daughter played with her toys in her bath duckie. Meanwhile, she showed me how to blow bubbles underwater (and of course with mommy supervision). And after the bath, and some resistance to sleep; Olivia was snuggled up in my arms ready for bed. What more can I ask for?
It is time for bed and I am staying loyal to my promise of writing a blog each day for sixty days. So my blogs will vary in content and please excuse a blog every now and then, which may not be fulfilling. Today is one such blog. Thursdays are my busiest days because I schedule most appointments, run errands and work as full-time mommy. And on Thursday evenings I lead support groups for grieving adults. Today was productive, and I truly enjoy running groups about grief and loss. After leaving group, I feel truly blessed and fortunate to support and empower others, while also learning a great deal from families. It is a very rewarding job.
That is the part of my day I truly enjoyed. The part I did not was the hour and half wait at doctor’s appointment today. The longest I have ever waited for a doctor’s appointment was two hours and 15 minutes. This was close. But I was very grateful to my Aunt who watched my daughter while I attended the appointment. She was understanding when I speed texted “I may be late, doctor is late. Is that okay?” To which my Aunt responded, “Take your time. Even go shopping if you want to.” I then sighed and texted, “I wish, but I am here waiting.” Today was a test in patience.
At the end of the day, I am thankful for another day with purpose, love and support. I am grateful for this blog. And I am excited about the journey ahead, a leap of faith. Day 4 is pretty darn good! And to that sentiment, good night, as I am one very tired mommy at the end of an “on the go” day.
What a beautiful day in Winter Park it is, minus the overcast skies. Here is a picture of Park Avenue this morning.
This week is all about organization. So after walking my daughter to school this morning, I began reviewing my “to-do” list. Where to begin, I wondered. I looked around at our condo, which has been seriously “babyfide”. This is my new word for “the baby has taken over.” Its all good though, because it reminds me of just how much fun she is having. After vacuuming, sweeping, organizing and de-cluttering; it was like a new condo. Then I realized the tedious, boring nature of cleaning up, so I put on my favorite songs from lists saved on iTunes. Music rejuvenated me and I continued to organize. Two quotes popped out at me from paperwork I was sorting through. These were quotes I wrote down from awhile back. I thought I’d share them with you today.
Quote 1:
“To be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand.” Jose Ortega and Gasset
Quote 2:
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Quote 3:
“If anything can go well, it will.” Unknown author
Wishing you a beautiful day! Listen to your heart, and trust in your own connection to you.
Today felt like day one of a life transition. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, my family and I moved from a home to a condo. The condo is located in my hometown, a city with serious charm: Winter Park, Florida. I feel in some ways I am being reborn. Not only did we move physically but there is something bigger going on here, for which time will reveal. I have moved literally to a new home but I am also in process of an emotional (mind-body-spirit) journey to capture my inner child, my inner strength.
I know what I need to do career wise. So now I am developing an action plan, checking one item at a time off the list. And now I am even more aware of the importance of relaxation, and being open to “no plan.” Sometimes the greatest joys come from “going with the flow, and trusting in the signs.” Also a visionary has no vision without rest and recuperation. Isn’t there a quote that says “Life is what happens when you are not watching.”?
Although weeks have passed since our actual move; we did not feel settled into our new place. There were many, many boxes to unpack, discard, etc… And we still have a room full of stuff, mostly paperwork to review and discard. Last night, was the first night our family (mommy, daddy, baby and two dogs) slept through the entire night. WOO HOO! My energy felt bountiful this morning as if I was being energized by Red Bull. The irony is that I have never drank a Red Bull nor do I have a desire to do so. This morning I was eager to do loads of laundry. That is not my usual. Olivia and I played in the park, danced to music, ate a popsicle together, and enjoyed giggling. It seems she is becoming more independent as I found time to check items off my to-do list. It was a productive and happy day.
Did I mention that I watched GLEE? I am inspired by most episodes of Glee. My daughter dances to the music and I continue to muster up creative ideas that swarm in my head. Who knew that Liv would dance to Britney Spears songs on GLEE? I took time out tonight to write and to reflect upon meaningful lyrics. It is very important to me to say what I really want/need to say in my songwriting. I vow to write lyrics, without fear of others perception of my lyrics. The lyrics will be truthful and heartfelt. I think many singers/songwriters sugar coat the writing in order to not offend others. That was my mistake as well. I wrote many lyrics that only scratched at the surface of my real feelings. It is time to really say I what I feel.
My husband and I decided to have a “staycation” this year and just relax at home. It was quite enjoyable until we realized that the household tasks consumed our energy for more hours than expected. So on Thursday we decided to go on a mini weekend vacation. We left Friday and are currently staying at the Tradewinds Resort in St. Petersburg, Florida. We are very grateful to be here. I feel immediately at ease next to mother earth’s vast ocean, cool breeze and sandy shore.
This trip was decidedly about relaxation and family. My husband’s family (well, most of them) live in this amazing city. We had a belated and much-anticipated gathering. We enjoy quality time with the Rios family. Meanwhile, we dined at Japanese and Thai restaurants. Last night we went to this great Japanese restaurant across the street for which I cannot recall name of right now. I ordered Vegetable Tempura and we had egg/ veggie rice for Olivia (our 16 month old daughter).
Okay so here is how the night unfolded. It began with giggles and I took out all the tricks. My mom reminded me to bring Olivia’s toys in order to preoccupy her at meal time. So I brought a few items. The items captured her attention for under five minutes. Pretty soon, Liv was twisting around in her high chair, joyfully looking for the passerby. She is oblivious to “stranger danger.” Liv is highly social and began screaming “ME, ME, ME, ME….” and “MA MA MA MA” to everything (especially to every food dish) in view. Art and I gave each other the all-knowing glance of “Hey, should we get out of here?” But we continued to pull out the tricks. Art grabbed napkins and played peek a boo. I resorted to a pair of chopsticks, clanking them against the table. Again that lasted five minutes, if that. Liv began tossing her rice everywhere, as I tried feverishly to clean up after her. One lady gave me a disapproving look, which I just brushed off. Suddenly my husband whispered with urgency, “Here honey, take her.” To that sentiment, I said “Why?” He said with a half laugh and half frown ” I have a wet spot on my pants.” I grabbed our sweet baby girl across the table. Sure enough, she had a poo diaper. I rushed her off towards the restroom. On my way, I managed to ask a staff member “Do you have a changing table?” She said yes with confidence. As I entered the restroom I looked for a table. There stood a narrow wooden table with a flower vase. It wobbled but was good enough. When you are a parent, you become resourceful.
Oh yeah, did I mention that Liv does not like her diaper changed. It takes great planning and deliberate distraction to keep her still enough. After changing Olivia, I peered down and sure enough, there was a circle of god knows what on my pants as well. I began laughing uncontrollably. My way of coping. I figured it was better than losing it and sobbing. I laughed all the way back to the table and yelled “MISTLETOE!” It is Art and I’s cue word, for let’s get the **** out of here. On the way out of restaurant, I declared to Art ” I am never going out to dinner again as the three of us. We are hiring a babysitter!” That didn’t last. Lets just say tonight’s dinner went better. It was all the same antics except we were more prepared.
What did we learn? You can never bring enough toys for distraction. Always face baby towards the crowd, the staff, anyone she can watch while eating. Most importantly it was a lesson in acceptance. It is easier to accept a situation and laugh then to not accept it and feel defeated.
Singer, Writer
Kimberly Beaman
