I Never Knew (poem)

*This poem is dedicated to Olivia Daisy.  She is my cheerful, creative, sweet, intuitive and strong-willed 18 month old baby girl.  I love you cupcake.

I never knew

Just how much

You would mean to me.

How your eyes

Would touch a deep place

In my soul.

A place that I didn’t know existed.

I never knew

That when I looked at you,

The world would stand still.

That time wouldn’t matter.

That nothing mattered but you.

I never knew that I could love someone

This much.

That I would do anything for you.

Anything

I never knew that you would steal my heart

With one look

One smile

One glance

One touch

Your first word

Your first walk

Your first kiss

Your first hug

Your first goodbye

Your first hello

I never knew,

Love could be this endless.

Thank you,

Now I know.

Day 60

Not much to say about Day 60.  Why? Because I survived through another day of being sick.  Last night I checked into an urgent care clinic for what I thought was the Flu.  But thankfully, it turned out to be a bad cold and ear infection.  Still I felt miserable. There were a few things/people who deserve honorable mention for their support.

A special thanks to my mom, dad, Art (my husband), Olivia (daughter) and to Glee.

GLEE (the show) really helped me survive while being sick.  I was able to catch up on a few episodes and I’m always inspired by this show to continue shooting for the moon (my dreams).  And of course a special thanks to my sisters and friends for your text messages which rooted for me to recover.

Day 60 marks my goal for 60 posts, in sixty days.  Overall I have 111 posts (my lucky number “11″).  I’m excited about this journey because I am creating the life I have always dreamed of, except now I am actually putting my thoughts into action.  So from here on out, I will only be posting blogs about a personal journey of becoming the artist I always imagined.  We are all children at heart.  And now I am talking directly to you, fellow blogger and/or viewer.  You can tap into your “element” and bring your inner child to life.  Do what you love to do!  Thanks for supporting and following me on this journey.

Be Well,

Kimberly

Day 57: Not your average Tuesday

It was not the average Tuesday. Why? Because I made the decision to change-up the routine this week.  I took Olivia to Science Center this morning after her doctor’s appointment. Doctor said she is one healthy girl, thank goodness!  We went to the Science Center afterwards to celebrate.  Liv enjoyed playing with musical instruments, running around in a mysterious tunnel, shouting “baby” to each baby that passed by and eating a cookie.  I tried to give Liv bites of our veggie sub but she wanted nothing to do with it.  The exception was eating tomatoes from the sub.  And of course, she always enjoys a yummy cookie.

The day was filled with fun for Liv.  I am trying to get over what appears to be an allergic reaction to cold weather.  Every time its cold, my allergies kick in alerting my throat to turn red.  However, by mid day, I was really hurting (my throat that is) and decided to just take it easy.  The Science Center tired us both out!  I’m grateful for another beautiful day even when I feel this way.  Thanks to tea, gargling, rest, and medicine; I am on the mend.

Not much more to say today.  Have a great tomorrow!

Kimberly

Day 46

“It’s not the broken dream that breaks us, it’s the ones we didn’t dare to dream” Glee

Recently I had a blogger send me “blogger hate”.  LOL, I am just kidding.  Blogger hate is really blogger love because it is helping me grow as a blogging artist.  An unidentified blogger emailed me to let me know she is disappointed with my recent posts.  She said “Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts have been kinda boring?  I miss your super writings. Past several posts are just a little out of track! “

But you know what?  I agree with her.  I promised myself I’d post daily for sixty days.  It is difficult to write meaningful compositions daily.  I always want to write from the heart.  Usually I write about latest highlights for the day.  But there are days when the highlights are few and life is just the usual.  On those days, I just don’t want to bore you.  Generally I will say to the reader, “okay well goodnight, that is all I have.”  I will continue to post for sixty days.  However, after that I will only be posting my latest artistic creations.  I have always believed that it is “quality not quantity” that matters in life.  I apply this principle to most everything I do.  After sixty days, if I don’t have much to say, I just won’t say it.  But I will post anything inspired by the arts and my latest artistic pursuits.

So sorry dear blogger, who was disappointed in my recent posts.  I can’t please everyone but your thoughts did not go unrecognized.  And what you said was similar to how I was feeling.

Yesterday (Day 46) I was inspired by my daughter and wrote this:

Title: Hi Mama

“Hi Mama! “

The best two words I heard this morning

“Hi Mama!”

You cheered with innocence

My sleepy eyes quickly brightened.

“Hi Mama!”

Can you say that every morning?

Those two words really make my day

“Hi Mama!”

This smile stretches from ear to ear.

And it’s not the words you say.

It’s you.

“Hi Mama!”

I am the happiest mother

Because of your love.

“Hi Mama!”

“Hi Baby!”  I love you.

Day 42 President’s Day

Happy President’s Day!  Today started off on the sluggish side. Why? Because I was recovering from a long weekend of fun and productivity.

Highlights for today:

* I continued the process of co-writing song with a new friend.  It is a song we are both enthusiastic about.  The song is looking better and better each time we co-write.  (We will reveal song when finalized)

* My family and I enjoyed an afternoon relaxing in Central Park and lunch at the Power House Cafe in downtown Winter Park.  I usually get the hummus and tabouli wrap but this time, I craved the falafel sandwich.  It may sound odd, but I need ketchup with it.  Power House Cafe has something for everyone.  The smoothies are to die for.  They are blended with natural, healthy ingredients without added sugar.  I tried the chocolate Almond Smoothie. Yummy!  Check out the menu at http://www.powerhousecafe.com/ .   We even ran into previous neighbors.  Olivia was over joyed about seeing her first crush.  They hugged for what seemed to be five minutes, played ball and said “zoom zoom” to toy trucks.

* Right before bed, I do the usual routine.  I pick up my daughter’s toys off the living room floor, placing them in the appropriate place.  Usually I do this, halfway asleep, ready for bed.  But this night was different.  Yes I was still sleepy however, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with love, joy and gratitude for doing this simple act.  In that moment, I felt so proud to be a mom to Olivia Daisy.  I thought “This is the joy of being a mom.”  It’s not exciting to pick up toys.  But these toys are the ones my daughter loves and plays with.  She is learning and growing daily.  In that moment I felt so lucky and proud of her and this role as mom.

Be Well,

Kimberly Beaman

Day 41

Today was a VERY cold day in Florida.  I am so confused by Florida weather.  One day rainy, one day freezing, another day hot and then back to freaking COLD.  You’d think I would be use to it, since I am a native to Florida, but I am not.  Oh well.  I could put a positive spin on this and say that the unpredictable weather always keeps us guessing.  As if the weather is an exciting surprise.  But the truth is, I am not amused.  Mostly, because my wardrobe goes in and out of boxes regularly, not knowing what to expect next.

Okay lets see, highlights for today.

* Music highlight: Worked more on latest song, in which I am co writing.  Very excited about this!! I will be meeting up with co writer tomorrow evening to continue our edits.  Can’t wait!

* I went to an audition for a Full Sail movie.  The only catch is NO ONE WAS THERE.  So there was no audition for me.  I am still puzzled by this. But I did leave the casting department a message.  I will try again.

*  Enjoyed a belated, but not forgotten, Valentines day dinner and movie with my husband.  We watched a movie called ” Silver Linings Playbook” directed by David O. Russell.   One of my favorite actors is Bradley Cooper (stars in this film) .  Our dinner at Thai Singh was fantastic.  ”Late night noodles” has always been our favorite dish there.  Delicious!!! (Thanks for babysitting mom and dad!)

Very sleepy so goodnight…

Kimberly

Day 40

Yes, I know.  My posts lately have been a day (or two) late.  Better late than never.  I have vowed to write a post every day for sixty days.  The post below is for yesterday, Day 40!

What a beautiful Winter Park day~

Forecast: Clear skies, windy and cool

Highlights for today:

* We had a rocking’ family garage sale!  It was fun and the entrepreneur side of myself loved to sell, sell, sell.

I enjoyed time with my family while selling.  And I even bought a few things at our own garage sale. Ha ha

* Spending quality time with family and watching our favorite shows.  I watched “The Secret” on Netflix and this sparked my creativity.  The law of attraction is truly a powerful tool in our lives.

Well that’s all folks. Saturday was uneventful except for the garage sale. Wish I had more to report. But then again, it was a day to relax and recover from a very fast paced week.

Cheers,

Kimberly

Day 37 Valentines Day Eve

I love Valentines Day!  I wish I could spend all week making cupcakes, telling people how much I love them etc.  I wish I could spend an exuberant amount of time decorating, planning parties related to V-day.  But let’s be honest, I am a working mom and I I just don’t have that kind of time.

So I guess I will be celebrating Valentines day all year by doing simple acts of kindness for others, loving my family every day and cherishing life’s little pleasures.

Highlights for today:

* Being fully aware that I made the right choice.  Fear can block us (even subconsciously) from making the best decision.  I chose to completely surrender to any fear of the unknown while moving forward with my creative pursuits.  It feels really good to surrender my frustration, fears and anxiousness.  And instead I continue to be optimistic that I made the right choice.  And all good things come to those who “wait”.  But instead of the word “wait”; I choose to say “All good things come to those who believe, persevere and trust.”

* I made Vegan cupcakes that actually taste great! (at least to me!) Except that they fell apart while removing them from the pan. Bummer! Instead of lamenting over my cupcakes; I decided to make the best of it.  I put several cupcakes together to make small hearts.  That worked and as for the crumbles, they will be good in pudding, ice cream etc…

* Just feeling grateful overall.  I had a great time with my cousin today and playing with Olivia (my daughter).  Grateful for the small moments which feel like anything but small.

And lastly, I wanted to share some new lyrics with you.  These lyrics came to me while singing with my daughter in living room last night.

Here is the latest lyrics of a new song idea, dedicated to my daughter Olivia Daisy.

My Everyday (Copyrights 2013)

(Verse)

You’re my sun on a Monday

You’re my rain on a Tuesday

You’re my clouds on a Wednesday

And my wind on a Thursday

Even Friday through Sunday

As long as we are still playing together

It doesn’t matter the weather

(Chorus)

Because you’re my everyday

You’re my every day

I wouldn’t have it any other way

Let’s roll around in the dirt

And throw the leaves in the waterfall

Because it doesn’t matter what we do

As long as I have you

As long as I have you

(Repeat Chorus)

Day 36

Today was a very busy day with little one (our daughter Olivia).  Here is a brief synopsis of highlights from Day 36.

Highlights for Today:

* The City of Winter Park approved the first ever night parade to take place in the streets of the Hannibal Square Shopping and Dining District.  We went tonight and enjoyed watching the parade, the bright array of colors.

http://www.orlandoeventsunlimited.com/

*  Our daughter was dancing to the performers of the “Capoeira Brazilian Martial-Art”   Very entertaining and highly skilled group! Check them out at http://www.brazilartcenter.com

Olivia dancing

Olivia dancing

*  Creative juices are flowing and songs keep coming to me.  I am excited about co-writing this Friday evening.

Be Well,

Kimberly

Day 30

Day 30, what can I say?  You threw out small tests and I manged to pass them.  Yes, life lessons.

There were unexpected surprises and minor challenges.  Yet, I woke up and said ” Life, what do you have in store for me today? It will be a great day!”  And thankfully, it turned out to be a good day, not great, but good.  There is so much to be thankful for.

Highlights for today:

* I survived many baby tantrums.  I’m starting to get a handle on how to better manage a tantrum.  Distraction by laughing, dancing and singing tends to help Liv calm down and refocus.

*  I prepared for Disney audition, which is tomorrow.  I have never auditioned for a Disney commercial before so I am very much looking forward to it!

* I bought make up today (a light foundation, commonly used for television) and a very kind saleswoman said this to me:

” Just go be a princess on that Disney commercial and whatever you do, don’t worry.”  She continued with ” Just like a job interview, go in there and be your confident self.”  It was like she knew me and was reading my thoughts.  A real life angel.  Thank you to the kind stranger who brightened my day.  Ironically, she worked at Disney for many years.

* I am making every effort to do at least one kind gesture, out of the blue, for someone each day.  It feels really good and I believe in the law of attraction.

And with that, good night.  I really want to write more to you dear blog and bloggers; but this lady is VERY tired.  Plus I need my rest in order to magically transform into the best princess actress Disney can ask for.  LOL

Good night,

Kimberly

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