Embrace Life’s Complexity

It’s been awhile since writing on my blog.  Missed you!  I missed talking to people I know and those I don’t know.  Something about writing is very cathartic.

Anyways, I needed to get some things straightened out so I took a momentary reprieve from discussing music and acting.  The complexity of life did not allow for me  to solely focus on music and acting.  And that is okay.

I have learned that I can have my “cake and eat it too.”  Except, the cake may get dry at times and the ice cream may melt and re-freeze.  That is life.  So I will continue forward on this journey being a forever optimist and continuing to tackle the unexpected.

I’m excited to announce that my friend and I are recording our co-write this weekend.  We are looking forward to sharing the demo soon.  The other exciting news is that I got a job doing something I am truly passionate about.

What is the job you ask?  Advocating and supporting people with various disabilities.  I had difficulty typing the word “disability” as I find the word to be disabling.  I would rather say helping people with various emotional, behavioral and physical challenges.  It seems more empowering this way.  Yet, society has emphasized “disabilities”.  What I have to say to you Society…is this.    Watch out because I am planning to support a team in changing it up.

Live. Love. Create.

Kimberly

Joy

“We simply cannot know joy without embracing vulnerability” by Brene Brown (author)

I adore this quote and the trick is to focus on gratitude and not fear.  I feel immense joy, when my attention is directed towards gratitude.  How about you?  How do you, or can you… show gratitude today and therefore begin feeling more joy in your life.

A short poem, if you will…

JOY

Capture me, take me

But do so knowing

That I am grateful

For you

JOY

Take me over

And know

That I am feeling

Opaque

But that is vulnerability

And this feeling is okay

And the more I am real

Showing Gratitude and living this life of love

The more JOY shows up.

I am present

This moment is vulnerability at its finest.

Only thinking in the moment

Being grateful for each step

And it will lead me back to you

JOY

The Magic

I am reading this awe-inspiring book called ” The Magic” by Rhonda Byrnes. It from the series of books beginning with The Secret, then “The Power” and now “The Magic” regarding the Law of Attraction.  There is a paragraph at start of first chapter which truly captures the essence of “The Magic”.

It reads “I am here to tell you that the magic you once believed in is true, and it’s the disillusioned adult perspective of life that is false. The magic of life is real and it’s as real as you are.  In fact, life can be far more wondrous than you ever thought it was as a child, and more breathtaking, awe-inspiring, and exciting than anything you’ve seen before.  When you know what to do to bring forth the magic, you will live the life of your dreams.  Then, you will wonder how you ever could have given up in believing in the magic of life!”

The key discussed at the start of this book.  And I say “start” because I have just begun reading this book.  The key is one word: Gratitude.  Yes, many of us daily give thanks for “our bread”, friends, family and say thank you to the stranger who kindly opens the door.  However, the author challenges us to give an abundance of thanks with intention and regularly.  There is a 28 day journey to bring forth the magic into your life by gratitude detailed in the book.  The book also provides activities to increase gratitude.

So I want to say a big THANK YOU to Rhonda Byrne and the team that created this book “The Magic”.  Why?  Because the more I give; the more magical my life becomes.  As Willie Nelson (singer-songwriter) quotes ” When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”  I have been aware of gratitude and believe I am a grateful person.  However, I can be doing so much more to express gratitude and give back.

I hope that this blog inspires you, the reader, to continue your journey of attracting magic to your life.  Give, give, give!!!

With Appreciation,

Kimberly

Day 22

Day 22, you were good to me.  Here are today’s highlights.

* I managed to clear out two boxes.  Some of the contents were re organized and placed in other boxes, but still, I remain proud.   My goal is two boxes a day until our office space is actually a usable space.  Then I will transform the room into a sanctuary with guitars and music.

* My daughter has a lot of “firsts” these days.  Although they may appear minor to the outsider, they are huge successes to me.  Liv runs to the bathtub each time she hears “Its ducky bath time!” with excitement.  Liv runs to the bottom drawer of her dresser when I say “Lets put on your shoes.” And she picked out shoes that actually match. Quite the fashionista in the making!

But seriously, the sweetest moment was when Olivia began crying while watching her mom trim her own fingernails.  Each time I trimmed a nail, Liv would whimper with empathy, very concerned for her mommy.  I would reassure her but it barely worked.  I could go on and on but I will stop now. =)  Other highlights…

* Liv and I played in the park. It is a lesson for me in being mindful, being in the moment.  As soon as Liv began rolling around in the dirt, leaves and grass; I had a moment of “should I be letting her do this?” But quickly I remembered that kids need to be kids.  So I began rolling around too.  We giggled and I chased her around the park.  People probably thought we were nuts but I didn’t care, because in that moment, I couldn’t be happier.  I am inspired daily by Olivia.  (Oh gosh, sorry, am I talking again about her? Sometimes, I just can’t help myself.)

* Lets see what else? I stopped in the pet store off of Park Avenue in Winter Park.  It is called  “The Doggie Door”.  The staff is super friendly and willing to go above and beyond.  The owner helped me with tips for our dog Jasmin’s misbehavior.  The store offers an array of doggie goods.  Here is the link to store if interested.  http://bullfish.net/

* On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my personal time is more limited since Olivia is not in school.  I enjoy spending quality time with Liv on these days.  So with that being said, it is difficult to work on my music, writing etc..  However, as I mentioned in previous blog; I plan to do at least one thing a day to further my goals as an artist, no matter what.

* Today’s music goal was to listen to my music; the songs and lyrics I have already recorded.  It had been awhile and I needed to refresh my memory.  In addition I listened to classical, and various other styles with Olivia.

It was a fun, silly and endearing day!

Day 11

Today is Day 11, my lucky number !!!   What follows is a synopsis of my day.  Our sweet baby girl has been under the weather since Wednesday evening.  So mommy and daddy have been busy taking good care of her.  Today I took Liv to our first appointment with a new pediatrician who is an MD but also skilled in Alternative Medicine.  It is such a relief to find a pediatrician who believes in empowering families through prevention, education and support.

I visited my favorite business for skin care this evening.  It is called The Sanctuary of Winter Park.  The owner/founder is Usha Naran who is also a friend of mine.  She is such a professional, kind and genuine individual.  I admire her as a specialist in skin care and as a person.  She specializes in facials, waxing and make up.  Also there is a wonderful lady there named Maria who is very talented and is also a friend of mine.  Maria provides many services including waxing and pedicure/manicure.   I see Maria for eye brow waxing and always leave happy!  Check out this peaceful Sanctuary that is well-known for skin care in Winter Park.

http://sanctuaryofwinterpark.com/about-us/

I could go on and on about my day, but don’t want to bore you today.  First and foremost, today was about taking care of our bambina (spanish for “baby girl”).  We also ran a few errands together.  The process of organizing, decluttering and unpacking is taking longer than anticipated.  Olivia keeps me laughing when life can be so serious.

I am beginning to truly miss lyric writing, acting, singing and dancing.  Mostly I miss singing, and acting.  I have the acting bug again!  So I am hopeful that next week will be the last week of serious organization mode; so I can concentrate on acting/music again.   I sing and write now but not to the extent of my soul’s purpose.  There are many changes being made on a personal and professional note; which are preparing me for this next phase.

Be Well,

Kimberly

Day 9: I want my duckie and cookie too!

My daughter Olivia Daisy carried her cookie with her to take a bath this evening.  Olivia rushed to the tub as soon as she heard daddy twist faucet on.  She then proceeded to climb over the tub fully clothed. I intervened, quickly removing clothing and getting her into her favorite duck for bath time fun.  Once in the duck, she watched the crumbs of her cookie fall into the water.  It was a candid moment.  I urged my husband to grab a camera stating ” Olivia wants her duckie and cookie too!”

Surprisingly, Olivia did not eat her cookie, but merely starred in awe of the crumbs floating away.  Finally, after some prompting; she began eating the cookie while enjoying her bath. I began to wonder the metaphor/meaning of this joyful event.  Perhaps the crumbs floating away, remind us of mindfulness.  It is important to really be present, even while enjoying/eating food.  Liv wanted her cookie and her bath.  Perhaps a metaphor for how all is possible in life.  A broad generalization, maybe, but I am choosing not to analyze.  I think about how I want to be a mom and career woman: the delicate balance between both.  My daughter inspires me more than I could ever have imagined.  If you look closely at picture below you can see our cookie monster.  Cookie in her left hand and crumbs on bottom of duckie bath.

Olivia

And here is a brief synopsis of the earlier part of my day.  This morning while my daughter was at school; I had a few hours to cook, organize and relax.  Mostly I cooked dinner like a “crazy person”.  I basically stayed hyper focused on the task of cooking.  By doing so, with minimal distraction; I cooked two meals and managed to cook Olivia her favorite oatmeal for tommorow’s breakfast.  Then with the last forty-five minutes; I decided to relax while listening to a guided meditation on YouTube.  It was called the Universal Mind Meditation by Kelly Howell.   There was one quote that really stood out.   As I lay still the soft tone whispered, “I’m not the past, present or the future, I simply am.”  I felt restored, even after just 20 minutes of listening to guided meditation.  I adore Kelly Howell’s work and truly believe in our brain’s potential and power to envision change, and to heal through guided imagery.

Tonight I led a group for adults grieving the death of a loved one.  It was a great group of individuals and I always leave group feeling purposeful and with immense gratitude.  After group, it was all family with laughter and yummy home cooked food.  What more can we ask for?

Be Well,

Kimberly

Days 6-9 Blogger Guilt

Last night I felt blogger guilt.  I was out on a date with my husband and suddenly remembered my blog.  You see, I promised myself I’d write a blog each day.  On Monday night, I planned to write about Sunday and Monday, however; I was unable to access the internet.  And then it was Tuesday evening.

I tend to set very high expectations of myself.  My hope was to write a blog each day, but it was a fast-paced, fun and mommy-tired sort of weekend.  And then one needs to recover from such a whimsical weekend.  So there was Monday.  I spent a good part of Monday cleaning house.  No longer will I continue to set such a high expectation. I think it is more realistic to say I will blog most weekday nights and blog once about each weekend.  So below is a synopsis of the last four days (including today).

The weekend was useful in that I sorted through boxes and continued to organize our new home.  As for family time, we went to Winter Park Farmer’s Market Saturday morning.  For the novice marketeers, it can be intimidating.  There is a large crowd and it is packed.  And it was momentarily scary when one vendor’s food truck began to tilt on its side.  It just so happened that this food truck was a barbeque pit with smoke filling the air.  Everyone froze as the truck tilted further in one direction.  There was a loud gasp of shock and fear.  But within seconds, the food truck was back up and running.

What I love the most, food wise, is a delicious crepe.  They even have gluten-free crepes now.  Yes, I ordered gluten-free with fruit and peanut butter.  Although I am going dairy-free; I figured a minimal amount of skim milk will do no harm.  For health reasons, I have decided to go dairy free.  Apparently there are great benefits to sticking to an all plant protein based “livit”. I prefer to not use the term “diet” rather, to use “livit” as this is a positive change.  The WP market is worth the trip!

Sunday evening, I went to see Mary Poppins musical at Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre.  One word “Dynamic!”  The set was extraordinary.  I guess that is two descriptive words.  The artists were top notch and the choreography impeccable.  It was an inspiring musical to anyone, of any age.  There were many metaphors to a life well lived.  One of my favorite quotes is from Jane & Michael, ” Stretch your mind beyond fantastic, dreams are made of strong elastic.”  I felt inspired to continue this path of creative risk, adventure, and positive growth.  Thanks to my sisters for gifting me this occasion!!  Check out upcoming shows at the following website: http://www.ticketmaster.com/Bob-Carr-Performing-Arts-Centre-tickets-Orlando/venue/278567

And the exciting recent news is we have finally installed our brand new oven, into our brand new condo.  The more organized I become, the more ready I feel to confidently stride forward as an actor, singer and writer.  It is a cleansing of mind, body and spirit.

Wishing you a fulfilling week ahead!

Day 5

So this is how day five started out.  It was another beautiful day in Winter Park, Florida.  Look at the blue sky and the colorful flowers off Park Avenue. I noticed Sassafras, a sweet shoppe while walking my daughter to school.  This shop often is full of children eager to pick out their favorite candies.  Also I have seen kids birthday parties being thrown there.  Pretty “sweet”! 
IMG_0513 IMG_0516

It was another productive day. I managed to clear out two boxes in a room full of home items.  We are still in the process of unloading and organizing our new place.  It is fun but arduous, and time-consuming.  I don’t even know the definition of arduous to be honest, but I like the way that sounds.  Today was about running errands and sticking to this week’s plan.  The plan was to de clutter, simplify our lives.  I had a set time frame to do so, while my baby, almost toddler, was at school.

Lets see I went to Whole Foods at one point today and enjoyed an “almost lunch” with my “almost toddler.” That’s right I’m a fool to believe that my daughter can sit still while I eat a delightful sandwich.  Nope!  She ate well and then I quickly packed up my lunch for later.  It’s all good!   Lets see, fast forward and Olivia, our dogs and I went for a brief walk.  The walk was brief because Olivia wanted to jump out of the shopping cart.  You see in order to walk the dogs and have a happy baby with me; we have resorted to using the shopping cart.  Olivia usually loves sitting upfront and looking at surroundings.  Not this time.  She wanted to jump out of cart, at every opportunity.  So the walk was cut short and back to dancing around the house. There is never a dull moment.  She is growing like the daisy she is.

This evening my husband, baby and I went to a new restaurant.  Check it out if you can.  “Tako Cheena” is the name of this eclectic asian fused with latin cuisine.  At first I was skeptical; how could chinese food mixed with latin food be good? But they have found a unique blend.  The food was delicious and several options for vegetarians and vegans.  There was one delicious sauce that combined garlic, chives and ginger.  I will definitely be returning.  The night had the best ending.  My daughter played with her toys in her bath duckie. Meanwhile, she showed me how to blow bubbles underwater (and of course with mommy supervision).  And after the bath, and some resistance to sleep; Olivia was snuggled up in my arms ready for bed.  What more can I ask for?

Goodnight,

Kimberly

Day 4

It is time for bed and I am staying loyal to my promise of writing a blog each day for sixty days.  So my blogs will vary in content and please excuse a blog every now and then, which may not be fulfilling.  Today is one such blog.  Thursdays are my busiest days because I schedule most appointments, run errands and work as full-time mommy.  And on Thursday evenings I lead support groups for grieving adults.  Today was productive, and I truly enjoy running groups about grief and loss.  After leaving group, I feel truly blessed and fortunate to support and empower others, while also learning a great deal from families.  It is a very rewarding job.

That is the part of my day I truly enjoyed.  The part I did not was the hour and half wait at doctor’s appointment today.  The longest I have ever waited for a doctor’s appointment was two hours and 15 minutes.  This was close.  But I was very grateful to my Aunt who watched my daughter while I attended the appointment.  She was understanding when I speed texted “I may be late, doctor is late. Is that okay?”  To which my Aunt responded, “Take your time. Even go shopping if you want to.”  I then sighed and texted, “I wish, but I am here waiting.” Today was a test in patience.

At the end of the day, I am thankful for another day with purpose, love and support.  I am grateful for this blog.  And I am excited about the journey ahead, a leap of faith.  Day 4 is pretty darn good!  And to that sentiment, good night, as I am one very tired mommy at the end of an “on the go” day.

Be Well,

Kimberly

Day 2

Today was not a productive day.  However, it did bring clarity.  I went to a Winter Park Consignment store to sell a heavy box full of used clothing.  As I left our condo, I wondered how the day would pan out with a sleepy baby in tow.  Yet, I remained positive and decided to take the risk of not knowing if my clothes would actually be sold.  At the consignment shop, I was informed by sales lady that all clothing must come “clean, pressed and on hangers.”  I thanked her kindly and walked out with a sleeping baby on my shoulder.  Thankfully, I had left the box of clothing in the car, in the event that clothes were not accepted.  

So I gently placed Olivia into car seat and went to Colonial Drive to check out “Plato’s Closet.” This is another store which collects used clothing. I have sold clothes with this company before but it is truly “hit or miss”.  Well, lets just say a forty-five minutes later, it was a miss.  The store owner looked at me with empathy in her eyes saying ” I am sorry, we are passing on your bag of clothes. We have too much in our inventory. Try us back in March.”  She seemed to feel sorry for me since I had been waiting so long with baby in tow.  I kindly thanked her and walked away.  I learned during this experience to enjoy the moment even when disappointed.  I was losing my patience knowing I’d wait for thirty plus minutes with a baby running around; however, I changed my thought process.  I thought, “Lets make this fun!” So I took Olivia around the store and asked her to choose her favorite outfit.  Liv eagerly ran from shoes, to purses and then to her favorite clothes.  It seems that purple is her favorite color.  It didn’t matter that clothes weren’t sold.  Time with Olivia is always priceless.

I still had hope for the last option.  The last store, DECHOS off Colonial Drive was the final stop.  This resale store is for vintage and name brand clothing.  Immediately upon walking in, I was greeted.  Nice start, I thought.  I explained to the saleswoman that I have a box in the car, to which she interjected “an appointment is required.”  She handed me a flyer and said “Here, read this over.”  I smiled and walked out with my sweet baby girl asleep again on my shoulder.

I drove home and called to set up appointment with Dechos Resale store.  It was a long afternoon to say the least.  I got the answers I needed but clothes were not sold.  At the end of the day these are the small things in life, that just don’t matter.  I continue to learn to laugh at the small things, to enjoy life’s unexpectancies.  

This week is all about decluttering, organization in our new home.  And I learned that vintage clothes and consignment shopping provide an exciting experience to combine fashion with one’s personality, while being eco friendly. 

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